Shakespeare got it wrong!

Sorry, but. I'm right. I know I am. I tell the kids I'm always right (which is a slight exaggeration) but in this instance I KNOW I am.

The Bard stated that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Okay, I'm probably paraphrasing because I'm too lazy to check and anyway my Complete works of Shakespeare went the way of the rest of my stuff (the tip). However, that is beside the point. He was so off base it is incredible.

As previously mentioned, my colleague is pregnant - and her maternity leave is, to my mind, frighteningly close. At her last scan she was reliably informed Junior is male. Being a teacher, names have specific meaning for her and I've been gently teasing her by suggesting various names. Hence my title. Shakespeare got it wrong.

So many names are verbotten. Jack, Jake, Connor, Joe, Sam, Ben, Liam, Damien (obviously), Sean, Shane, Tom to name but a few. It's odd but Toms have a tendency to be silly whereas Thomases do not. It's the same with Sam and Samuel. Jamies of both sexes (but especially male) beg for trouble. It's true. I've been on supply and, before meeting the students I've looked at the register and seen the name Jamie and known that the first person in the room to cause trouble will be the owner of that name! Jacks are, to a boy, lads, Shanes think they know everything and Joes are cocky. Georges can be excitable and as for Bradleys! Get them off the ceiling if you can.

On the reverse, Richards tend to be quiet and Johns are downright studious. James and Andrew tend to be slightly more obvious, but only slightly.

I could write long and hard about girls names as well, but I think I've made my point. Names do maketh the man (and woman) and my poor colleague is having the devils own job in finding a name that both she and her partner (who has no such hangups, not being a teacher) like.

I have also suggested Zebedee (okay, I was only joking), Zachariah, Zacheus, Jude, Malachi and Micah (I have to admit to a liking for the latter). If Flavia had been a boy I would have liked to call her Theodosius, although the name was disapproved of. The jury is out for the time being but it will be interesting to see what they choose - and whether Junior lives up (or down) to his name!